The good news first: there might be a different song for the first dance, because they don't actually have a version of "their" song, "Bless the Broken Road." They do, however, have an entire CD my sister and I burned of other songs. When I left the house, it was playing, so we think they might switch.
A related tangent, speaking of songs: as a kid I always liked the song "Molly Malone." I didn't, however, realize there was a statue of her in Dublin's fair city until about eight years ago, when I zipped over to Dublin for a weekend trip, and stumbled upon the statue. There were various reactions in our group, ranging from "Damn!" to "Cool!" to "Go Molly!"And now, the bad news regarding the wedding: the pastors have decided (two days before the wedding) that I'm showing too much cleavage in the bridesmaid's dress. (The bride emailed them a picture of me in it...) The fourth bridesmaid is considerably larger, and they've determined that the two of us will detract from attention that should be focused on the bride alone. Which is doublespeak for "We're uncomfortable with how comfortable you are in that dress."
I fail to see how this is anyone's business but the bride's. As in, the one who chose our dresses in the first place. But whatever....
So after brainstorming every solution (scarves, strategically-placed bows, shawls, camisoles) and buying lengths of silk that kindofsortofnotreally match the dresses, four screaming Palmer women and the larger bridesmaid and pastors (via phone) reached a happy medium: pinning pieces of silk across the front of the dresses. Artfully.
I plan to light the bra-burning bonfire sometime after the cake-cutting...
The revolution will not be televised.
5 comments:
oh. my. gosh. i don't -- i'm not -- i'm incoherent.
i'm also confused. was the bride concerned about the cleavage and sent the picture to the pastor to say "well, what do you think?" why would she send the pastor a picture of you in the dress? that's bizarre. this whole wedding is bizarre. BIZARRE.
The larger fourth bridesmaid suddenly had a panic attack, worrying "What will the pastors think of me?" She kept insisting she'd just cover herself up by wearing a cami, but then the bride didn't want an odd one out, so it was everyone or no one. She made me re-try the dress on, took a pic, and sent it to the pastors, who called immediately to say if I looked the way I did, the fourth bridesmaid would be even more scandalous. The bride capitulated.
Then there was a lot of yelling and scrambling to figure out how to fashionably hide what the good Lord gave us in the dress that the bride gave us....
I think it's only an issue because the pastors are the groom's relatives.
Oh, wow. That's hilarious. First of all, I had to look up Molly Malone. That's a funny story. John Ashcroft would be uncomfortable.
John Ashcroft would fit right in at this wedding, though. The actual day is probably going to be a total letdown. I hope so, because the other option is for it to be anything close to how it's being built up: a crazy, crazy day. Crazy.
if you want, bring the whole operation out to boston and i'll perform the wedding, pastor xtina style. meaning, wear the dresses sans silks and, as lucille clifton would say, glory in you skin.
We just spent a little over 2 hours rehearsing -- mainly because we actually sang all the songs, rather than going over which songs would be sung. It was a little counter-productive.
It'll all go fine tomorrow, stuff always does.
Of course, we didn't rehearse the reception...
Pastor Xtina, I would totally have you officiate at my wedding! Not that I plan on ever getting married...
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